Ahhhhhhhhhhhhh, FREAK OUT!Let's talk about how completely hysterical yesterday was in the world of Boston / New York baseball.
Randy Johnson loped into New York (no word if he had to duck to avoid incoming planes on the tarmac, or if they had to slip him lengthwise into the plane's cabin for the trip--but either of these might be an explanation for why he was so cranky) for his physical yesterday, and when he began to traipse through the city streets, he was confronted with--gasp--TV CAMERAS! And them reg'lar kinda cameras! And ALL KINDA PEOPLE!!
PEOPLE. WITH CAMERAS. FOLLOWING A STAR PITCHER AROUND. IN NEW YORK!! SAY IT AIN'T SO!!
After suffering in the hot glare of the public eye for approximately 1.5 seconds, Randy proceeded to completely lose his mind, shoving his hand into the camera's lens like it'd caught him disrobed in an alley with Tara Reid, and shouting, "NO CAMERAS!"
Even funnier? Randy's "handlers" -- you know, his lackeys, the guys who follow him around and carry his luggage and maybe should've, you know, explained to him that in New York, cameras might be present-- joined in the chant, "NO CAMERAS!" till it was like a mantra. "NO CAMERAS! NO CAMERAS! NO CAMERAS!"
One of the photographers, clearly dumbfounded, protested, "But I'm just taking--"
Which is when Randy Johnson uttered what is sure to go down as an instant-classic line in Boston / New York rivalry history: "DON'T TALK BACK TO ME."
Randy, you badass!
Words cannot describe how hilarious I found it, for two main reasons: one, the Yankees' image as an urbane group of metrosexual hipsters has suffered damage it will take Derek Jeter and A-Rod weeks of "being seen" at the chic night spots to repair; and two, just being in New York--not even on the New York mound yet--has caused Randy Johnson to flip out already.
Then again, you could
rationalize look at it another way if you're on the New York side: We got a live one here! The Big Unit has stormed into Manhattan like something out of a Godzilla movie, here to chew bubble gum and kick ass, and son, he's all out of bubble gum. Which is just what New York needs in its pitching rotation.
So. Boston fans get to guffaw at the Yankees' latest Great White Hope. And Yankees fans get to marvel at their new stud, rearing and snorting and pawing the ground, rarin' to go.
For once, everybody wins.