The Playoffs, Round One
Beth: Was that Jets game a disgrace or what?
Sam: No kidding. I only got my hopes up, oh, about 500 times in the course of that one. Thank you, New York. I should know by now to never trust teams coming out of there...
Oh, and the first Eagles TD of the game? Where Freddie Mitchell caught the ball, got back up, and PRETENDED TO PULL HIS PANTS BACK UP, COMPLETE WITH SECURING THE BELT?
I nearly fell off the bed, I was laughing so hard. Then I had to explain to the kid I was watching it with why it was so funny, but damn. Delight.
Mer:I would just like it to be on the record that, no matter what happens in today's game from this point on, I am enjoying this more than I have ever enjoyed a football game. Freddie Mitchell with the pants (and buckling the belt), JR Reed with the 48 yard punt return, McNabb's orgasmic confidence in the pocket, and Mitchell's miracle TD catch after LJ Smith coughed up the ball - this is what I've been waiting all year for.
Beth: You know, I felt the same way watching the Pats. I so hope we have a
Pats-Eagles Super Bowl.
Sam:
"I'm trying to think of what excuses they're saying in their locker room right now," Tedy Bruschi said afterward. "What rules do they want to change now? Maybe it'll be, 'We can't play a game if it snows.' I don't know. I was just tired of it. I was tired of hearing this and that, talking about the last game and how we didn't win the game, they lost the game by giving the ball away. Last time I checked, turnovers are when defenses take it away. And we just took it away again today. To hold that offense to three points, I mean, their players are great. I respect what Peyton Manning did this year. I respect those players. Sometimes you've just got to be quiet and play football."
...
"I'm a special player," he [Freddie Mitchell] said, wearing an Indiana Jones hat and bow tie. "I've just got to thank my hands for being so great. I've just been chillin' being patient, being humble. I knew my time was going to come. I want to say `Hi' to all my new friends out there, those people who doubted me and the receivers."
So I'll just be over there in the corner, giggling happily and saying, "FootballFootballFootball!" over and over again. Goodbye, Viqueens! Goodbye,
Horseshoes! Goodbye, Randy Moss! Goodbye, Peyton Manning! Hee hee.
Beth: They're saying, "He's a freakin' liar and an egomaniac.
He just made it up to cover his big butt.
No Yankee would ever do that."
Sorry. Still can't get over that one from SoSH v. NYYFans.
The thing that rings in my head (well, among others) about all the hype leading into the Pats / Colts game was when someone (I of course can't remember who) said, "The Colts HAVE to win. If they don't, what are they going to say? They have the five-yard rule. The Patriots' secondary is depleted, and there's no Ty Law..."
Seriously. What is going through their heads?
OK, taking a break from searching for Colts quotes to post the following link:
OMG OMG OMG OMG.
Okay. Under control.
From the Indianapolis Star:
"They played ball," said Colts running back Edgerrin James, shrugging.
"Bottom line. No tricks. They just played ball."
"(Cory Dillon) made some good runs and was bouncing off people and slashing," Colts coach Tony Dungy said. "That's where they hurt us; they didn't hurt us so much in the passing game, other than a couple of third-down throws."
Oh yeah, Tony, our passing game SUCKED. Sigh!
"They made plays off our mistakes," Colts defensive lineman Raheem Brock said. "We couldn't get off the field. We couldn't get the ball back for our offense."
...
"We never gave ourselves a chance," Colts center Jeff Saturday said.
Okay. Give me just one teeny goddamned break here. Just one, that's all, I promise, kay?
So it's not the fact that the Patriots KICKED YOUR ASS, it's that YOU made "mistakes." Fuck YOU. Where's that patented "tip my cap" response? Where's the CREDIT, now, FINALLY, after the Patriots KILLED you AGAIN?!?! Except for Edgerrin James up above, quotes from the Colts about how well the PATRIOTS played, and maybe, that they were....underestimated? By your team? Just possibly? Are few and far between.
And where's Vanderjerk when you need him, huh? He ran his mouth before the game, he should have to be called to answer afterwards. And who's better qualified to talk on the subject? After all, he's the one who scored the only points for the Colts.
I'm sorry, but there is no football team I have ever hated more than Peyton Manning's Colts. Bunch of fucking MARTYRS.
Sigh. OK. Calm down Beth. PM & Co. are water under the bridge. If we're ripping anyone a new one, it should be the Steelers.
But that's another email.
Although I really do sense a rivalry brewing here at least approaching, if not ever possibly matching, Sox / Yankees. These teams seem to be on a collision course every year, even though they're not in the same division. But the way I see it, PM is this generation's Dan Marino, and Tommy is this generation's Joe Montana. It's kind of a no-brainer who's going to win most of the time, even if the other does put up the gaudy numbers during the regular season.
BTW, on ESPN.com, they TOTALLY stole our idea with
>"Snap Judgement."
But, Skip Bayless makes the following very interesting points:
Best Throw of The Week:
Third-and-goal, Patriots, from the Indy five, about a minute and a half left in the third quarter. Patriots leading only 6-3. Brady fades and looks to his first option. Covered. Then his second. Covered. Then he breaks left and escapes the rush. By then, David Givens finally has lost his man. Throwing against his body, the right-handed Brady whips a pass so hard that he fears Givens won't be able to snag it. Givens does. Patriots, 13-3. Colts' resolve, effectively shattered.
...
Worst Throw of The Week:
Here was the flip side of the weekend's best pass. Here was Peyton Manning facing second-and-goal from the five with one more shot before having to settle for a half-ending field goal. Convert, and the Colts would have a 7-6 halftime lead and the momentum after getting outplayed for the first two quarters.
Manning faked to Marvin Harrison in the corner of the end zone and tried to come back to the middle to tight end Dallas Clark -- who had been legally leveled at the goal line. Now what? Manning began to scramble forward, but unlike Brady, Manning isn't poised enough on the move to find an uncovered receiver. He forced a throw to Reggie Wayne that was nearly intercepted by Eugene Wilson. That was the turning point.
Mer: That's not as good as ours...anyone can get guys to talk football. But I like the thing they do with the chart that has each of them answering a handful of questions with three words. We should try that sometime...
I despise Skip Bayless.
So for all the hype, there really wasn't alot of great football this weekend. The Jets/Steelers game was really the most exciting. I was cheering for the Steelers for a handful of reasons. I love Duce Staley, I was watching with a friend who is a Steelers fan, and most of all, we were watching at a bar, and sitting a few seats away was a Jets fan in a Yankee jacket. I did NOT want to see him celebrate. So despite the fact that there were loads of mistakes and it was sloppy at times, it was a great game. And watching the Yankee fan slink out of the bar as yet another of his teams choked in the postseason was highly entertaining.
We watched the Atlanta/St Louis game at a restaurant during dinner, but the game was already over by the time we got our table. Did anyone doubt this would be a blowout? There was a reason STL was a .500 team.
The Pats/Colts game was a disappointment, because I had high hopes for a high scoring game in which momentum would switch back and forth until someone finally came out on top. Instead, the Pats controlled the entire game, the Colts' receivers couldn't get their hands on the ball, and Peyton Manning pulled a Yankees yet again.
As for the Eagles game, I wasn't lying when I said yesterday that I enjoyed it more than any other football game I can remember watching. The media had been going on and on for weeks about how the Birds would be rusty, their offense would be anemic without TO, and Randy Moss would quiet the Philly crowd. Instead, the Eagles dominated the Vikings from the start, giving Eagles fans the kind of game we've been waiting all season for. I can see why this game would have been boring for non-Eagles fans, but I was as giddy as a schoolgirl all afternoon. There were so many highlights that I can't even remember them all. McNabb's pass to Freddie Mitchell for their first TD and Mitchell's subsequent celebration which included mock-pulling his pants up and buckling his belt, Freddie Mitchell recovering LJ Smith's fumble for a TD, a healthy Brian Westbrook tearing it up in his first playoff game, Jevon Kearse and Jeremiah Trotter destroying everything in their path, and McNabb...I will never get tired of watching McNabb in the pocket. Relaxed, patient, cool, calm...the guy is confident and having a blast. You can't ask for much more than that.
Sam: OK, yes, feel a little dirty agreeing with something Skip Bayless wrote, becauseI usually read his articles and end up saying, "Wow, he knows about as much about sports as I do (which ain't much) and writes worse than most blogs I read," at the end of them. But hey, points for New England kowtowing. I can't remember if he picked them to win or not before the game, feel like I saw it on Cold Pizza and promptly forgot.
Beth, the photo of ol' Infinite Audibles? I pretty much sprayed water all over my computer. Thanks. Please tell me you went back and checked out the rest of, ahem, PeytonManning.com. Please tell me you read his 'diaries'. I would like to read you an excerpt from the one he posted up just before last year's AFC Championship game.
Ahem.
"Hello everyone! I know it's been a while since I last checked in, but things have been pretty busy here in Indianapolis. We have been fortunate enough to advance to the AFC Championship Game in New England this weekend. We weren't satisfied with just winning one playoff game [ha ha ha oh God the irony].... Teddy [Two Ds? Since when, Peyton?] Bruschi is sometimes overlooked and underrated, but he's an excellent player. Willlie McGinest has always been awesome [Awesome? What are we, 5?]. Mike Vrabel's a really good player and everyone knows about Ty Law. He is one of the premier players in the league [The prophesy! Of! Dooooom!]."
Hee hee. Well, we know how that one worked out, eh? I do *so* hope that he writes an entry again sometime soon, just to see what sort of mild platitudes he can drudge up to explain away this one.
And hey kids! You too can send your bestest buddies an e-postcard featuring a guy with too many stats and not enough rings! What rollicking good times!
Pretty much the only good thing I can say about it is that the web design is, at least, palatable. As opposed to, say, mannyramirez.com, which mostly makes me want to start sobbing uncontrollably and hang up my mouse for ever and ever. I love the guy, but someone please get him a goddamn webdesigner who is over the age of 13 and not blind in one eye.
Beth: I'm not even familiar with Skip Bayless. I just liked what he said in that instance.
Peytonmanning.com continually cracks me up. I have seen most of the pics on there, Sam...have you seen the one where he's sitting on Santa's lap?
Freddie Mitchell's celebration and pimped-out post-game press conference were wonderful. And I was rooting for the Eagles, Mer, even if you ARE rooting for the Steelers. Although I can understand wanting to hand New York more misery. It's got to be a little unnerving for Steelers fans, though, the way they squeaked by; I never expected the Jets to give the Steelers as much of a run for their money as they did. Maybe it was just the matchup.
As for Roethlisberger being at a disadvantage because he's a rookie, I don't buy it. I remember a certain other second year quarterback that became the Super Bowl MVP four years ago...
Mer: Skip Bayless is cocky. He gets off on criticizing athletes and seemingly always has something negative to say. I can't watch him on ESPN for more than a minute before I want to reach through my TV and throttle him. Also, he used to work at my station.
I'll see if I can go back and find some of the stuff that Freddie Mitchell has said in the past. His interviews are always the best. I fell in love with him the first time I saw an interview with him in which he referred to himself as "The People's Champ."
And the only reason I'm cheering for the Steelers (and believe me, it's hard to root for the Burger) is because I always cheer against the favorite when my team isn't involved. The Pats are favored and have won 2 SuperBowls already. I love me some Tom Brady, but I'd like to see someone else get a ring. Plus, that will leave Brady more time for modeling in his underwear and stuff.
Beth: The Burger!
Sam: The Burger is pretty much all I refer to him as. That, or Roethlisbergeregerererererer.
But whatever you call him, I'm much less afraid of him in this upcoming game than I am of the Busboy and Dunce Staley. The thought of them running over our guys gives me THE FEAR. I feel like we have a better chance of stopping The Burger than we do them...although, again, I feel like the Colts didn't take full advantage of our weak secondary. Can't for the life of me figure out why, but if the Steelers do we may be in trouble.
In any event, one of the fibers coordinators today asked me how the football game went, because I had been freaking out so often and so vocally before it that even the people who care more about getting enough soda ash into the dye than getting footballs into the endzone knew there had been a big game. I consider it my sacred duty, bringin' sports into the clannish art school. Like Curt Schilling and his Jesus-lovin', only hopefully less creepy.
Beth: Winning Souls for Tommy, that's how I put it. And I am also like that,
esp. at my workplace. Except in my workplace we have a Steelers fan. And this Steelers fan--who went to Pitt, whose father was an original investor and season ticket holder in the franchise, so he has a decent excuse--has talked so much smack, that I finally said to him, "You know, if the Steelers lose, it's going to be very difficult for me to have much sympathy for you at all."
Of course, being a Steelers fan, he didn't care.
Being the superstitious sort, I don't like the Patriots being favored. That bodes ill to me. I was actually rubbing my hands together saying, "Yeess...Yesss....GOOOOD..." when all the talking heads were all PM this and PM that, because the more they hyped Indy, the more sure I was that the Patriots were going to be able to fly under the radar, and when the time was right, come out of nowhere to kick righteous ass.
Sometimes I truly don't know how the national talking heads arrive at their picks. Because back at the end of the regular season, people were reasonable about it, half picking Indy, half picking NE, if they even played each other, etc. Then PM goes and has a 450,000-point game against a fraudulent Denver team and all of a sudden everyone's running to the betting booths like their assholes are on fire to put money on the Colts. Then the broadcasters, I think some at first wanting to be "innovative", wanting to be the guy who was right about something, started picking Indy. Then the rest followed, because it was the trendy pick. Pretty soon people were rationalizing away the Patriots' strengths, hyping up the absence of Ty Law and Richard Seymour, and not taking note of PM's record in Foxboro, esp. in the
playoffs.
True, PM had an historic year, but I think what it might come down to is that a lot of ppl on the National scene were rooting for Indy, because it would make a great story. Peyton's revenge. Like the Red Sox finally overcoming the Yankees, only football style, where the national pundits have been STARVING for an icon. For whatever reason, all the excellent quarterbacks fail to cut it as the Golden Boy, and
PM seems to be the one they'd like to anoint. But he keeps falling short. So in a way, this becomes his mystique--when is Peyton going to do it? IS Peyton going to do it?
They get focused on the story line. Because at the end of the day, they're storytellers. Not really football experts. You'll notice that Dan Marino, Mike Ditka and Boomer Esiason--all of whom have been IN the game--refused to pick against the Patriots. It was Greg Gumbel types who started picking the Colts.
Also because Dan Marino sees Peyton, and knows all too well what will unfold for him, because Dan Marino sees Peyton, and sees himself.
But meanwhile, now that the pundits look like buffoons, they start kicking themselves for the previous pick and start favoring NE, esp. since the Steelers looked shakier than predicted against the Jets.
And I start to get nervous.
However. This is not to say I'm starting to doubt the Patriots. Because what has panned out at least over the last few years more often than not is that the Pats under Belichik don't believe the hype--either for themselves or any of their opponents. That's one of the many reasons why I LOVE THEM.