This post by Sarah, "If I Were a Star Major League Baseball Player..." makes me alternately seethe with jealousy and hang my head in shame, because I will never in my life write something so awesomely humorous.
My part was this:
4. I would have a ridiculously gaudy sports utility vehicle filled with strippers, top-shelf vodka and pot smoke with television screens on the back of the headrests, spinner rims and a horn that played "La Cucaracha." I would have a huge mural of the Virgin Mary engulfed in an art-deco sort of wreathe of flames cradling a baby Jesus with my face superimposed on it painted on the roof and a chain-link license plate frame.
Thanks for a much-needed laugh, Sarah.