There's something about Mer and me. Whether on the SGMB or in any of our Three Chicks Talk Football episodes, she and I seem reactive, somehow. We get each other's attention. We usually find ourselves duking it out on whatever topic is at hand. It's nothing new to me--it's happened to me with other people. And I genuinely like Mer, don't get me wrong.
Well, this topic is no different. It began on a comments thread on Surviving Grady, and wound its way to Mer's blog and now finds itself on mine, and as usual, Mer and I are on opposite ends of the spectrum.
Legions of Sox fans have not forgiven Fallon and the Farrelly Brothers for thrusting themselves into the middle of such an important and personal moment, insisting that they will not see Fever Pitch.
Me? I'll be at the theater on opening night.
Like I said...opposite ends of the spectrum.
Personally, I haven't been very impressed with the Farrelly Brothers' movies. I've been amused at some of the New England and Bostonian references in some of their movies, but frankly, I only saw Stuck On You because I heard Tom Brady had a cameo. The only memorable moment from that movie was when a guy at a bar says "Hey Boston boys...say hi to Billy Buckner for me." And Matt Damon and Greg Kinnear give him the conjoined beatdown. Otherwise, the movie was one long string of sight gags punctuated by some pointless, stilted dialogue.
Their only remotely enjoyable movie was There's Something About Mary...and that was how many years ago?
So if this movie was about, say, the Cubs or Dodgers or even Arsenal, the soccer team the Nicholas Hornby novel was originally written about, the Farrelly Brothers' role in it would still make me wary.
Next you have the two co-stars. I don't think you could scrape up two more irritating actors to put together in one movie, at least for my taste. Well, maybe a deadlier combo to me would be Drew Barrymore with Nicolas Cage rather than Jimmy Fallon, but being less hated in my universe than Nicolas Cage is much like being the world's tallest midget.
I have shared my hatred of Jimmy Fallon before, but allow me to bestow upon you a bit of the hateration I have for Ms. Barrymore: there are not enough synonyms for "annoying" to describe my reaction when I encounter her. I especially can't stand the slack-jawed way she talks. I have no doubt she's a perfectly respectable woman, but as an actress? Ugh. Get her away from me. She's like fingernails on a chalkboard.
And then, finally, we get to the subject. Which is problematic in its own right. Frankly, I have been less than pleased with portrayals of Sox fans in the national media, on television, in books...and I have little faith in either the directors or the actors involved in this project that they will avoid all the tired old stereotypes of Red Sox fandom.
Some people on the MB have said seeing the trailers for the movie changed their minds, in part because of a scene in which Barrymore says, "It's only a game" and receives a comical reaction. Honestly? I've been on the giving end of such a reaction...in real life. Why I would feel the need to pay $9.50 to go see two of the most annoying actors of all time enact it on-screen, most likely with the terrible Boston accents that afflict seemingly all non-native actors, is beyond me.
There's also apparently a moving shot of David Ortiz crossing the plate that intrigued some of my buddies on the MB. I can see that whenever I want, too--either live or on one of my many DVDs.
But in order to get those shots for this movie, the quality of which I remain skeptical about, two of the most annoying actors of all time took up two seats in prime sections at seemingly dozens of games during the season. Every time I saw them sitting there, all I could think of was that two real fans would've refinanced their houses to have those tickets.
Think Fever Pitch will address that aspect of being a Sox fan? Not from what I saw. Every time, the terrible twosome were in primo field boxes.
Then there are the movie's most egregious offenses, at least outside of whatever it has committed to celluloid.
Thing #1: Is twofold. Jimmy Fallon became a bandwagon-jumping pseudo fan after playing a Sox fan apparently made him think he really was one, and as such, used his celebrity, such as it is, to show up on the Green Monster during Game 1 of the World Series. Again, a seat that could have and should have been taken up by a real fan.
Thing #2: As part of the shooting of the movie, Fallon and Barrymore (have I mentioned that they're two of the most irritating actors in history?) actually went out onto the field and made out for a while in the midst of the Sox' celebration. In doing this, they finally crossed that line between simply observing the Sox-fan phenomenon and violating it.
Here's another thing to consider, if you're going to see this film: its portrayal of the World Series cannot be in any way accurate or realistic, because at that actual moment, were any actual Sox fans out on the field playing tonsil hockey? No. They were weeping, falling to their knees, calling Dad, calling Mom, saying a prayer, perhaps playing tonsil hockey in the stands...but out on the field? They would've been arrested.
And yet there were the terrible twosome. Tongues firmly implanted in one another's pharynxes. Assholes.
The point has been raised, thought, that since nothing could ruin the World Series win for a Sox fan, any true Sox fan won't let this transgression mar their outlook on the film.
Okay, then. I guess that's why I outlined all my other objections to it first.
I'm sorry, but I simply do not want to see this film, for many reasons, but above all because I don't want any of my money going to reward the filmmakers and actors who were a thorn in Fenway's side all last summer and a slap in the face in the fall.