I said in my last post that "whether they won or lost wasn't what was most important." And, true, the Cabrera welcome would have made the game one for the scrapbook even if it had been a loss.
But, here's the thing. I receive scores and updates on my cell phone. Last night, the last one I saw said ANA 4 BOS 1. The only part of the game I really saw was Bill Mueller*'s single to score Jason Varitek, Cabrera's return, and a few plays after that, including a wretched snafu between Millar and Wells at first base that made me fling down my fork at the restaurant where the game was on in protest.
This morning I sat down to write the post about Cabrera without checking the score, and my original first sentence was "They lost again last night."
Then I put on SportsDesk OnDemand.
O me of little faith.
Another highlight I missed until now was Keith Foulke's ninth inning. Good: he gave up no runs. Bad: he loaded the bases.
The highlight reel showed Varitek doing that classic scramble toward him after the last batter, ready to slap the ball back into his glove, shake hands, whack him on the back.
Foulke, meanwhile, just kept shaking his head**.
You can do it, Foulkie. You know full well that I'm not the optimistic type (I'm a Sox fan, after all), but I just flat out believe in that guy.
I wish someone would just let me sit down and talk to him for five minutes.
* Bill Mueller's grooming choices are earning more and more of my dismay with each passing game. Not only does he have the long hair, now, but I discovered yesterday to my horror that he's shaved his goatee now. No, Bill, No. If we were playing Marco Polo with your ultimate hotness here, you'd be getting wayyy colder at this point. You are heading in the exact wrong direction, my dear. Observe.
This is you at your hottest:
You will note: a) the goatee and b) the buzz cut.
Now, I can understand where a man of your taste might have difficulty embracing both, as your goatee does contain some gray and the buzz cut is like Spandex: not for everyone. However, I am here to tell you that both graybeard and buzz cut work for you, Billy. You should not fight them. They both look good.
Now, this isn't quite that smoking hot, but it's up there and certainly acceptable:
Only slightly longer hair, still with the goatee, and what a cute smile!
Here, too, the slightly longer hair is okay:
The little Tom-Brady-esque flip in front? Very nice.
But a little goes a long way, dear. After a while, we start getting into this area here:
Which really, is...not so much. I'm not trying to make you feel bad, Billy, but a man of your supreme hotness should try to maximize said hotness. Think of it as a solid asset.
And, Billy, I have to tell you, when we head into the murky waters of goatee-less-ness, things start to go downhill fast.
Yikes, Bill. Yikes. See? I've already stopped using artificial endearments for you. I've begun to refer to you as "Bill," rather than the affectionate "Billy."
And when I saw you last night with both the long hair and the shorn face...it was like seeing a great work of art desecrated. Please, Bill, for your fans of a certain persuasion, bring back the buzz cut / goatee combo. I'm here to tell you, you're just gonna have to stick with what works.
I'm just sayin'.
**And hey, it could have been wayyyy worse. He could have been Steve Finley***.
***Finley was Wells' 2000th strikeout, let JD's bases-clearing double get over his head in the 8th, and was the K for Foulke that ended the game. Poor bastard.