SOXFAN is pacing back and forth in the small living room of the apartment. Near the TV, it looks like the entire DVD collection has been hastily ransacked of its numerous sports videos, which have then been removed from their cases, switched into other cases, and then collectively hurled in the general direction of the entertainment center.
NESN's Faith Rewarded is playing as SOXFAN paces, chugging Pepto-Bismol, clutching her stomach and groaning.
PATSFAN stumbles in from the bedroom, yawning. She's wearing an oversized Tedy Bruschi jersey and loose-fitting drawstring shorts.
The two encounter each other for a moment, both freezing in position. They nod to each other, and PATSFAN hits the head. She comes back and watches SOXFAN continue to pace, and then regards the 2004 World Series footage on the screen briefly.
PATSFAN: So. How's it going.
SOXFAN: (breathlessly) Good. You?
PATSFAN: (deadpan) Well. We've got a .500 record and we're lucky to have that. Matt Light's season is over. Rodney Harrison's career may be over. We've lost the majority of defensive backs, now, as well as both our coordinators and two of our veteran offensive linemen. Meanwhile, we're going through the toughest 6 game opening stretch of any team in the history of the NFL, and we've already lost as many games in four weeks as we did all last season. Let's see, what else. We were blown out by the San Diego Chargers, 34-17, last Sunday, and Richard Seymour was hurt. Basically, all there is down in Foxboro right now are Tom Brady, Bill Belichik, Adam Vinatieri, and what so far looks to be a pile of smoking wreckage.
SOXFAN: Last Sunday...
PATSFAN: Yeah. So what are you up to?
SOXFAN: (guiltily) Waiting for tonight.
PATSFAN: It's just after noon.
SOXFAN gives her a blank look.
PATSFAN: Never mind.
Just then, a stranger appears in their midst, from the kitchen, holding a beer, wearing a backwards black hat. She's wearing a gigantic white, black and gold jersey with an ornate "B" on the front. PATSFAN AND SOXFAN look at her, stunned.
PATSFAN: What are you doing in our house?
BSFAN: Hey guys, what's up? How bout that Patrice Bergeron?
To be continued...