You naughty people. You love it when I talk shit about the Colts. Good to know I'm not the only one going to Hell.
Anyway, I'm sure you're all waiting with bated breath to hear who I want to win the Super Bowl now that the Patriots are out of it. At this point, for me, what would be the consolation prize?
Well, I'll tell you. And rest assured my picks are fueled by some more of my special home-brewed high-octane haterade you've all been so enjoying.
The remaining teams are the Steelers, the Broncos, the Panthers and the Seahawks.
The Steelers...well...we have a bit of a history with the Steelers. Something about them running their mouths about the Patriots and then getting smacked down hard in last year's AFC Championship game while their towel-waving hive-minded fans fled the area, to name one highlight. There's no way I want to see them, unchallenged by the Patriots, earn that fraud Bill Cowher a ring. Essentially, what I'm looking for here is for the eventual Super Bowl winner not to be taking advantage of the Patriots' absence in winning--and so the Steelers are out. Because everyone knows if they had to come to Foxboro to play another AFC title game, they'd be going home crying again. No way should they slip through the cracks because the Pats bowed out.
However, I also will not tolerate the Broncos getting any title whatsoever after the debacle last Saturday. For some reason, when the Sox lost to Chicago in the division playoffs, I was comforted by the fact that the White Sox were obviously the eventual World Series Champs (and I was eventually proven right). This time, it's the opposite. Because the Broncos weren't the clearly, indisputably better team the way the White Sox were. They happened to be there when the Patriots fell on their faces--and to see them skate to a title would be more than I could really stand. So, the lesser of two evils here is for the Steelers to win the AFC Championship and send Denver home.
Meanwhile, on the NFC side, I was rooting for the Redskins and the Bears. Whoops. So now we have Seattle and Carolina.
With Carolina, a similar rule applies as with the Steelers--the Patriots have a history with them, from Super Bowl XXXVIII. Again, I do not want to see a team that has already been taken care of by the Pats in past years go unchallenged by the Pats to a title, and hence, I will be rooting for Seattle.
So, Seattle and Pittsburgh in the Super Bowl would be my pick. Then, since Seattle has no postseason history with the Pats to speak of, they would be my pick to win the Super Bowl. That way, none of the rivals who have outlasted the Patriots this year would win anything, and we could start again clean next season.
Now if you'll excuse me, I'm going home to put some water in Peyton's momma's dish*.
*It's a paraphrase of a line from Chappelle's Show. If you don't know that, I pity you.