I'm sorry. But it is.*
Our friendly local wifebeater has actually merited a national mention in SI this week on the grounds of his sheer suckitude. He appeared opposite Orlando Cabrera (ouch) in the "Hot / Not" feature in the front of the mag.
And then in the ninth inning on a slap-hit by Ichiro into the hole, Lugo let loose with a lame-duck throw so terrible, it turned my face to stone for at least ten minutes, like looking into the eyes of Medusa.
It's official--as Papelbon is brought in for five outs with Ichiro now standing on third representing the winning run and the sweep--I am officially jumping on the Julio Lugo Hate-Wagon. Until further notice.
Meanwhile, how is it we are playing Apocalyptic Baseball with the Seattle Mariners?
The look on Papi's face after he swung for the downs and missed against Putz in the top of the ninth? Heartbreaking.
The look on Jonathan Papelbon's face as he just walked off the field having preserved the tie? Life-affirming.
But this has ceased to be at all funny to me right now. Getting swept by the Mariners with our bullpen's best on the mound would be enough to send them limping home from this road trip in shame. I hate games like this. At least while they're happening.
ETA: Two excruciating, pointless innings later, Ichiro finally comes around to score anyway, off Pineiro. After Matsuzaka pitched a three-hit, eight-inning gem, too. This gets my vote for worst loss of the season so far, don't know about you.
*He did tie the game, that much is true. Which--twisted though it is--meant we still lost, only we blew out our entire bullpen first.