Ooof. George Steinbrenner does not look well. Not at all.
Why is FOX making it sound like they're dismantling the Yankees for good when they're talking about demolishing Yankee Stadium? They're going to move into an even bigger, even more expensive replica of the place about five feet away. That's it.
Every time they first show Joe Buck in the booth calling a game, I can't help but notice how he looks like his head is made of clay, and someone squished it.
You know how it feels when you're sitting in a waiting room, dreading the sound of your name being called, but grit your teeth and force yourself to sit there instead of bolting for the nearest exit, though the thought occurs to you more than once? That's how it feels settling in to watch Tim McCarver call a game.
"Hanley Ramirez, if you don't know, is one of the game's brightest and best young stars." Um, it being the All-Star G--...oh, forget it.
Josh Hamilton catches the final out. I kind of love Josh Hamilton after seeing that Derby last night. I've actually been dimly aware of him through my Red Sox myopia thanks to some incredible articles SI has written about him (linked in the post before this one), but hearing Yankees fans chant the name of a Texas Ranger last night was enough to make me a full-on fan of his.
Bottom of First
Josh Hamilton leads off! But strikes out. This time it's Ben Sheets throwing, not Clay Council.
Derek Jeter steals a base on Ben Sheets. All-Star Game Cognitive Dissonance has never been so severe.
"Rarely does he make himself look foolish going after a pitcher's pitch." Only the second and my ears are already bleeding.
OK, I know I can be ignorant of other baseball teams, but the Red Sox just played the Indians in an unforgettable ALCS. You'd think I'd know one of their starting pitchers, especially if he's good enough to start the All-Star Game...oh.
Oh, so Manny can play in the All-Star Game, but he can't get off his ass for the Home Run Derby? No doubt Shaughnessy's investigating as we speak.
Ben Sheets is pretty beautiful, even when he's striking out Manny Ramirez.
And, um, Kevin Youkilis.
Then he walks Joe Mauer?!? You've gotta be kidding me.
I've been waiting all week to see Scrappy Doo at the All-Star Game. And please, if you haven't already, do yourself a favor and read this Surviving Grady post during the next commercial break.
Which it turns out is right now, because D to the P flied out. (Figured I might as well cop to all my dumb Pedroia nicknames at once, here and now. You know, get it over with.)
Who will be less coherent this inning? Tim McCarver or an elderly Yogi Berra?
Oh Hanley Ramirez, One of the Game's Best Young Players, you hurt me so when you drop beautiful hits into right field during the All-Star Game.
"Have you ever not had any fun?" McCarver wins.
Also, I will never get tired of Big Papi's Vitamin Water commercial.
Inning the Fourth
Roy Halladay has pitched seven complete games this year. Seven! I'm proud to say he lost one of them to the Red Sox.
The Correct Zambrano just threw a lazy, looping curveball over Manny's head, and then both he and Manny laughed. Awww. "I bean you with affection."
Top o' the Fifth
Either Sunday's game skewed my sense of time entirely, or this has been the fastest game ever.
Halladay, you useless bastard. Giving up a run, and to a Colorado Rocky (Rockie?) no less. Named Holliday. Weird.
Pete ranges to his right and throws to Youk to toss out Ryan Braun. I feel all warm and fuzzy. (And okay, maybe I have a few more Pedroia nicknames yet.)
Danny Haren looks like he could be related to Mark Bellhorn.
The Happy Scrappy Hero Pup is up again. Please, Du-stehn (<---said with heavy faux-French accent), do something tremendous.
Well, it was a tremendous walk.
Now I have to root for Derek Jeter so Pedroia can score. Farg.
Capt. Calm Eyes (tm Annette) has now rendered that effort futile.
Is Pedroia wearing white shoes?
Varitek's on. Catching Ducksucker (or that's what I call him) of Oakland.
Kristen has the following quote from Amy up on her GTalk: "If you put Joe Buck and Peyton Manning next to each other you would get like a solid foot of forehead."
After reading yet another SI profile (this one another Verducci masterpiece), I was looking forward to seeing Tim Lincecum throw. But he was apparently taken to the hospital for 'flu-like symptoms'. Who gets taken to the hospital for flu-like symptoms?
Chase Utley singles and as Hanley Ramirez guns for third I can't help but fantasize about having both him and Jacoby in the same lineup. Sigh.
Berkman hits a towering sac fly to Sizemore in center. I can't believe we might get our asses kicked by the NL. It's like that had become illegal or something.
Jeter gets a standing ovation as he comes off the (current) Yankee Stadium field for the 66th-to last time. I am surprised FOX does not note this.
Papelbon is warming up. Heard him on FSNE before the game talking about looking for the Daily News reporter that called him "Papel-bum" in the locker room. "He does not want to run in to the teeth of Cinco Ocho." Wha? Also said he'd probably frame the Papel-bum! headline. Like I said to Brian when he brought the whole Mariano incident up to me today, "Boy ain't paid for book larnin'."
Speaking of "wha?" Daily News blogger Lisa Swan blames...Tito for the whole Papelbon tempest in a teapot. "Terry Francona is the biggest reason why this story is such a huge controversy that it threatens to overshadow the All-Star game. Ever notice how passive-aggressively snarky he is? I’m not a big fan." BTW, why are we getting so mad about this?
Danny Haren doesn't look to be needing any relief. He is dealing.
Top of Seventh
Completely missed it getting pissed off at the Daily News blogger. Also fast-forwarded through Josh Groban. Where's the love for Ronan Tynan at the Last All-Star Game for Yankee Stadium?
FOX's montage at the return from commercial made me suddenly realize how just how boring an All-Star game this has been so far.
Also just realized that the National League is, in fact, kicking our ass right now. And they're doing it with brilliant pitching. Huh.
And who should be up with a runner on and two outs in the inning? Why, none other than JD Drew! And guess what! HE HITS A HOMER. Good to see that radioactive spider venom still coursing through his veins. Tie ballgame.
I will not just fast-forward through the rest of the game. I will not.
Especially since Papelbon's pitching. Predictably, he's booed. Sigh.
You know, I still don't get why this whole thing has been so blown out of proportion, but ya think maybe chanting "Over-rated!" at anyone during the All-Star Game might be a little...hmm...classless? Not to mention catcalling his pregnant wife during the parade. Nice.
Tejada now on third base. E2 on a throw past second into center field. Thanks a pantload, Navarro.
Miggy scores the go-ahead run on a sac fly. Personally, I blame Yankees fans.
Whatever. I'm fast-forwarding.
Caught up with Longoria at the plate, two out, one on. Longoria hooks a sweet ground rule double out to the left-field corner. Because of Sizemore's uncontested steal of second just prior to the hit, he scores on the play. Well, at least it won't all be on Jonathan tomorrow. Tie ballgame again.
On the bright side, things are getting much more interesting.
Rivera's on now, following K-Rod, who actually has the best numbers so far this year with 37 saves. This time, on an innning-ending, strike-em-out throw-em out DP, Dioner Navarro's throw to second is dead-on. Figures.
Drew can't muster another homer. Strikeout to send this turkey into extra innings. Gah.
EXTRA FREAKIN INNINGS
Top of the Tenth
RUNNERS AT THE CORNERS WITH ONE OUT ON TWO STRAIGHT BASE HITS YOU ASSHOLES.
Just when I'm getting ready to be all vindicated and stuff, he gets a double play and out of the jam. Grumble. I don't even know who I'm rooting for anymore.
Bottom of Tenth
Runners at the corners once again, this time on back to back errors. Second one was a Billy Buck job by Dan Uggla at second base. Carlos Guillen intentionally walked for bases loaded, no outs, with Grady Sizemore coming up. Luckily this is not a Red Sox game, and so we have a greater than 50% chance of seeing a run scored here.
Force out at home on a FC for Sizemore. Maybe I was wrong.
ANOTHER fielder's choice. Good Lord.
TEJADA RANGES AND THROWS OUT MORNEAU. Inning over. Inning. freaking. over.
11th Goddamn Inning
It is past midnight up in this shit. I should go to bed but I've become bizarrely invested in this game.
Marianne: "Speaking as the biggest Orioles fan you could ever have the misfortune to meet, I have no desire to see George Sherrill pitch in this game."
Navarro is tagged at the plate for the second out. Serves him right for that ugly throw to second while Papelbonw was pitching, but at the same time, crap. We're going to the 12th.
Top of the 12th
Bases loaded with one out. Bases loaded with two out. Sherrill time. He gets out of it with a K.
Marianne: "Sometimes I forget what smart mofo Tito is. Sherrill can pretty much only perform with men on base, in the most desperate situation. Well played, Tito. Well played."
Bottom of the 12th
It's been a great game and all, but can this be over now?
I thought for sure my prayers were answered by Carlos Guillen, but it's off the wall instead of a homer. Another man on base. Sizemore up. Annette: "I vote that should count as a home run on account of the fact that I want to go to bed." I concur.
Dan Uggla sucks at life, but gets Sizemore out at first. Runner 90 feet away at Yankee Stadium. Where have we seen this before?
It looked like YET ANOTHER OUT AT THE PLATE on a grounder by Evan Longoria, but it was a foul ball. He proceeds to capitalize on that opportunity by striking out.
Justin Morneau, the East Coast turns its bleary eyes to you. Oops, Morneau walked. Ian Kinsler, we're all counting on you.
Pedroia shown on the dugout rail. Two men in scoring position for Kinsler. Pedroia would get a hit here.
Kinsler does not. Time for inning 13. Selig is shown with his head on his hand, looking half-asleep.
David Wright hits a broken-bat blooper into center off Sherrill. Here we go.
Corey Hart strikes out. Thank God for small favors.
A popup for yet another final out. What happens if Scott Kazmir has to pitch and gets into a jam? Can the game be called on account of no more pitchers?
This has got to be my longest liveblog ever.
Dioner Navarro: this game's least valuable player. Takes all of one pitch before chopping a weak grounder off Carlos Marmol. This time Uggla manages to field it.
JD Drew up as the clock strikes one. Uggla screws up again. Drew on board. Sam: "Dan Uggla's gonna go home tonight and cry so many tears."
JD steals second. JD for MVP.
Cubs vs. White Sox with Carlos Quentin at the plate. White Sox strike out. To the 14th we go!
The Pirates' Nate McClouth hits a scary fly ball off Sherrill, but JD catches it for the first out.
Another flyout from Russell Martin to JD. Sherrill has now pitched as much as he's pitched all season. I feel like I should cover my eyes.
Groundout to end the inning. At least they made it quick.
Brandon Webb the first pitcher who wasn't supposed to be used to come in to the game. Kazmir apparently to be the second, and then Joe Buck suggests they tap the Hall of Famers for more relief pitching.
Top! of! 15th!
This game is seriously still going on. Kazmir in. Come on, Scotty, this is the one time I really get to root for you. At least until the Sox follow my suggestion and covertly kidnap you during a visit to Tropicana.
Uggla strikes out. Oh, Uggla.
Flyout to left. Git R Done, Scott.
David Wright walks. The Revenge of the Mets.
Derek Jeter shown laughing with Tito in the dugout. Shouldn't there be some kind of rule about this?
Morneau gloves a scorcher off the bat of Guzman, and we're switching over again.
I swear this is the last inning I'm watching, no matter what happens. It's 1:30 in the morning for Pete's sake. Normally I only stay up this late for Sox-Yankees playoff elimination games.
Brad Lidge on the hill for the NL. Morneau up for what feels like the 15th time tonight. Singles to get on base for about the 7th time in a row.
Wasn't Kinsler just up? Well, he's back again and swinging away. Navarro on deck. I feel like Sisyphus here.
Ryan Ludwick makes a great catch in left, startling everyone awake at the Stadium. Kevin Youkilis shown wearing a rally cap and guzzling Red Bull.
Base hit for Navarro, Morneau holds at second.
Come on JD. Just a hit. Just a hit. Nothing special--no grand slam necessary this time. Just a hit.
JD walks. He's on base for the fourth time tonight. JD for MVP.
Michael Young hits a sac fly to right to score Morneau. After all that--that's it.